The Kind Bully

After nearly three years of researching the organizational "brilliant jerk," I've uncovered additional culprits within organizations that erode the culture, notably the "Kind Bully." This individual, often hidden in plain sight, deals repeated blows to organizational health through masterful manipulation and misdirection, all while maintaining a facade of warmth and support. Unlike the brilliant jerk, the Kind Bully is often beloved for their seemingly encouraging demeanor, yet they share a similar self-first motivation under the guise of supporting a larger cause.

The Kind Bully's motivations include a desire for control and dominance, often aiming to maintain a positive image while undermining others to achieve personal goals. Their tactics include backhanded compliments, unsolicited advice that undermines confidence, subtle exclusion, and taking credit for others' work. The impact of their behavior can be devastating, leading to confusion, lowered self-esteem, and isolation for those they target.

Counteracting the Kind Bully requires embodying the leader/follower trait of "Uncommon Kindness," which manifests through exceptional generosity, empathy in challenging times, unexpected thoughtfulness, and creating moments of joy.

It's not about passivity or mere niceness; rather, it involves a deep sense of courage, compassion, and the commitment to positively impact others, even in challenging situations. It involves the bravery to speak truthfully yet gently, guiding others towards growth and improvement.

This requires a level of professionalism—being honest without being hurtful, and supportive without enabling complacency. It's about offering insights and feedback that challenge individuals to reflect, learn, and evolve, all while ensuring they feel valued and respected.

These acts of uncommon kindness are characterized by genuine care, selflessness, and a commitment to positivity impacting others.

Reflect on whether you leave people better than you found them. Even if we occasionally fall short, approaching each day with professionalism and uncommon kindness enhances your leader/follower muscle which can revitalize even the most damaged cultures.